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I’ve talked before about the Importance of making moral judgments. The idea is not to categorize or label others’ character but to clarify personal moral obligations in terms of specific values and attributes that make us better people and produce a better society.
The most effective framework I know is built on six core ethical values called the Six Pillars of Character: trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring, and citizenship. Thus, if you want to be a person of character:
First, be worthy of trust. Live with honor and integrity. Be honest. Keep your promises. Do what’s right even when it costs more than you want to pay.
Second, treat others with respect. Live by the Golden Rule. Avoid physical violence, verbal abuse, prejudice, and all acts that demean or offend human dignity.
Third, be responsible. Exercise self-discipline and self-restraint. Do your best. Be self-reliant and accountable for the consequences of your choices.
Fourth, strive to be fair. Don’t cheat. Be open and consistent. Don’t jump to conclusions. Be careful when making judgments about others.
Fifth, be caring, kind, empathetic, and charitable. Avoid selfishness. Do what you can to improve the lives of others.
Sixth, be a good citizen. Do your share to make your community better. Protect the environment. Participate in democratic processes. Play by the rules. Obey laws unless you have a compelling conscientious objection.
Taken From: Character Counts Commentary by Michael Josephson at charactercounts.org
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If you were arrested for kindness, would there be enough evidence to convict you?
Some people cheer up a room by entering it, others by leaving it. What do you bring to your interactions with workmates, friends, and family? Is it encouragement, optimism, or kind words? Or is it pessimism, criticism, or cynicism?
People often forget what we say and usually what we do, but as Maya Angelou said, “They always remember how we made them feel.”
Here are some other wise words about kindness:
“Wise sayings often fall on barren ground, but a kind word is never thrown away.”
– Sir Arthur Helps
“You will regret many things in life, but you will never regret being too kind or too fair.”
– Brian Tracy
“Don’t wait for people to be kind. Show them how.”
– Anonymous
“The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention.”
– Oscar Wilde
“That best portion of a good man’s life: his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.”
– William Wordsworth
“Kindness is loving people more than they deserve.”
– Joseph Joubert
“We are made kind by being kind.”
– Eric Hoffer
“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”
– Benjamin Franklin
“You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom.”
– Theodore Isaac Rubin, M.D.
“Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true.”
– Robert Brault
Taken from: Commentary by Michael Josephson of the Josephson Institute/Character Counts
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Here are three suggestions for parents of teens, all learned through my own mistakes:
First, with emerging demands for independence, worries about peer acceptance, pressures of school and extracurricular activities, and a continuous search for self-identity, adolescents are on a physical and emotional roller coaster. Like every generation before them (including yours), teens are often arrogant and over-confident about their knowledge and your ignorance and deeply insecure about most other things.
They’re going to make mistakes, behave badly, and be thoroughly self-absorbed. Although they want you to be less involved in their lives, they actually need you more. And despite continual battles, if you’re open, you’ll experience glorious moments that all of you will cherish your whole lives.
Second, be firm but choose your battles carefully. Don’t back down when dealing with important principles, but don’t make every issue a hill you’re willing to die on either. Be content to lose occasionally and give in graciously.
Third, don’t belittle or underestimate the importance of their feelings. It may seem like they’re over-reacting, but teens feel emotions like embarrassment, loneliness, insecurity, frustration, and love intensely. It’s disrespectful to minimize or discount these feelings with useless advice like “You’ll get over it” or “Everyone feels that way.” Nor is it helpful to dismiss or invalidate an emotion by saying “You shouldn’t feel that way.”
Teens can be hard to love, but be patient. Soon they’ll be the parents of your grandchildren.
Taken from: Commentary by Michael Josephson of the Josephson Institute/Character Counts
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