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| TRUSTWORTHINESS |
| Trust
yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live
with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the
tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.
- Foster C. McClellan |
| RELATED
LINKS: |
| The Do-Gooder's Guide pdf
/ Volunteer Matters |
| Is Your
Reputation Trustworthy? |
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According to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary,
the word reputation means:
1 a: overall quality or character as seen
or judged by people in general
b: recognition by other people of some characteristic or ability
<has the reputation of being clever>
2: a place in public esteem or regard : good name <trying
to protect his reputation>
When teaching the concept of building a solid
reputation, I use the Aesop's fable, The Boy Who Cried Wolf!
Most students have heard of this story, so you can ask someone
to retell it if you don't have a copy handy to read aloud.
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Here's a synopsis: For his own entertainment,
a young boy screams that a big wolf has come into the village.
The people in the village are very alarmed at first. They all
come running to his aid, but find that there is no wolf. After
he pulls this stunt several times, the villagers begin to realize
that he is just pretending. One day, a mean wolf actually comes
into the village, but this time when the boy cries out to forewarn
the others, everyone knows that he is not trustworthy and they
ignore him.
In some versions of this tale, the boy gets
eaten by the wolf. When I talk with students in their formative
years, we decide that the boy just gets hurt but survives. (Usually
one of the students will disagree and say that he dies; if that
happens, we process that ending as well.)
Following the telling of the story, discuss the importance of
telling the truth as you build your reputation. Use questions
like these: What happens if someone
lies once? What if they keep on telling lies? Why didn't the
people believe the boy when there really was a wolf? Has this
sort of thing ever happened to you or someone you know? If so,
what happened? What is the best way to make sure people believe
us all the time? Will it be possible for the boy to change
his reputation? How?
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| Our Wall
of Trust |
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Whether they know it or not, students are working
every day on building their Wall of Trust, also known as their
reputation. Here's an activity using cardboard bricks that can
visually show students how important that construction work is.
Give each student a brick and ask them something
like this: "Why do people like you?" or "What makes
you a good friend?" or "In what ways are you trustworthy?"
Have them bring you their brick as they give you their answer.
Their answers will vary from "I'm nice" to "i keep
my promises," from "you can count on me," to "I
tell the truth." Pretty much anything goes as long as they're
relating something positive. With each answer, lay the bricks,
alternating them so they're not stacked directly on top of on
another, to make a pyramid-style wall.
When the wall is built, talk with students
about this wall representing their solid friendships. Wouldn't
you want to be friends with someone whose Wall of Trust is this
tall and strong? Then, give students a dilemma like the following:
What happens to your wall if you promise to pick me up for our
best friend's birthday party and you forget and don't come? Let
them answer before you strategically knock a block out of the
middle of the wall. Doing so slowly will ensure that the wall
stays up but just one block is missing. Talk with students about
how "when you mess up, you gotta fess up," and ask them
what you'd have to do to fix that whole in their Wall of Trust.
Suppose with them that this time you need a
ride to skate night. Do you trust that same friend who forgot
you last time to give you a ride? If so, what happens if/when
he forgets again? This time, knock down the top 1/2 of the wall
to show what happens to our Wall of Trust when we've dropped the
ball one too many times. Talk with students about how difficult
it is to trust someone whose Wall is broken down in this way and
what we'd have to do if that were our Wall to repair it and get
it strong again.
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| Discussion
Dilemmas |
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Using Discussion Dilemmas can be a very effective
strategy for helping a
child wrestle with good character choices. When talking about
Trustworthiness, try these questions:
1. Is cheating the same thing as lying? If
not, which one is worse?
2. How common do you think cheating is? Why do you think people
cheat?
3. If a cashier gives you too much change and you knowingly keep
it, is that stealing?
4. Is using a radar detector in your car cheating? Why or why
not?
5. How does cheating, lying, or stealing affect trust? How do
they affect friendships?
6. What should the consequences of cheating be? Of stealing? Of
lying?
7. What might happen if a news reporter exaggerates or makes up
details of a story? Is that lying?
8. Is there ever a time that it's okay to cheat or steal? If so,
give an example.
9. What might you do if you catch a friend cheating or stealing?
10. Is it ever okay to tell a "little white" lie (like
to spare someone's feelings)? Why or why not?
11. Are lying, cheating, and stealing wrong all the time or only
if you get caught?
12. Why is it important to keep your promises?
13. What happens when a friend doesn't keep his/her promise to
you?
14. How important is it that someone keep your secrets?
15. What type of a secret wouldn't or couldn't you keep?
These also make interesting journaling prompts
or morning meeting
conversation starters. When you've finished, make up some of your
own and
encourage your child(ren) to do the same.
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| Trustworthy
Students .... |
- are honest; don't deceive, cheat, or steal.
- are reliable and do what they say they'll
do.
- have the courage to do the right thing.
- have a good reputation.
- are loyal - stand by their family, friends
and country.
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| Friendship
Kits |
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At Westwood, we talk about the Trustworthiness
Pillar being the Friendship Pillar since trustworthiness is a
crucial ingredient in a healthy friendship. An activity I've used
to make 'friendship' a bit more tangible is making a Friendship
Kit. You can Google "Friendship Kit" and come up with
many different things to put into your Friendship Kit. Here's
the list I've used and how I approach The Friendship Kit activity.
Prepare a Friendship Kit in a Ziploc bag prior
to the lesson. Put the items and a list of what each represents
in the see-through baggie. Before showing students the Kit, ask
them what they might put into a Friendship Kit and why. After
they share a few ideas, you can show them The Kit but don't tell
them what each item represents. Rather, pull out the items one
by one and ask why they think that item is included in the Kit.
For example, "Why do you think there's a button in the kit?"
Make it clear that there are no right and wrong answers so that
they feel free to brainstorm what comes to mind. I think you'll
be pleasantly surprised at the interesting answers that you get.
One student told me that "just like a button completes a
shirt to hold it together, so a friend completes you." In
the end, share the answers and see how closely they came to what
the item represents.
A Button: Friends "button up" and
keep one another's secrets (unless it's a "hurtful"
secret)
A Toothpick: Friends "pick out" the
good qualities in everyone.
A Lifesaver: Friends can be lifesavers!
A Cotton Ball: Friends cushion the rough roads.
A Rubber Band: Friends need to be flexible!
Sweet & Sour Tarts: Friends appreciate
the differences in others.
A Sticker: Friends stick together.
A BandAid: Friends can help heal hurt feelings.
A Paper Clip: Friends help keep everything
together.
A Truth Card: Friends tell the truth to one
another, no matter what.
If you have a budget, you can actually purchase
the items in bulk and let the students make a Friendship Kit for
themselves. When I did this, it cost about 10 cents per kit.
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| Friendship
Matters |
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Trustworthiness is the hallmark of a healthy
friendship which might explain why the market is flooded with
many great children's books about friendship. Frog and
Toad, for example, are great friends. Check out these
illustrated picture books to see what happens when friendships
work as well as to learn how good friends work things out when
conflict arises.
Angelo by David
McCauley
Best Friends by Steven Kellogg
Being Friends by Karen Beaumont
Blabber Mouse by True Kelly
Chester's Way by Kevin Henkes
Don't Need Friends by Carolyn Crimi
Duck & Goose by Tad Hill
Enemy Pie by Derek Munson
Fox Makes Friends by Adam Rolf
Friends by Helme Heine
Nacho and Lolita by Pam Munoz Ryan
Nuggest and Darling by Barbara Joose
Something Else by Kathryn Cave
That's What Friends Are For by Florence Parry Heide and
Sylvia Van Clief
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| The Empty
Pot by Demi |
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Is honesty always the best policy? Before reading
the book aloud, find out from the students if they have ever heard
this phrase before? Ask what it means to them?
Use this Chinese folktale to illustrate and
illuminate the importance of integrity.
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In this book, the wise emperor is growing old
and must choose a replacement for his crown. The flower-loving
ruler announces that each child will be given a seed to see who
can grow the most beautiful flower. The most successful participant
in this challenge will be made his successor.
Ping, who is an accomplished gardener, knows
he can grow a great flower for the emperor, but despite his attentive
care, Ping's seed will not grow. He tries a bigger pot and different
soil, but to no avail. When the day finally arrives and the emperor
orders all of the children to bring their flowers to be inspected,
Ping is saddened and ashamed to see so many children with their
beautiful flowers. He has nothing to show but his empty pot. His
father tells him that he tried his best, and his best is good
enough.
The emperor looks sadly at the beautiful flowers before him. At
last he
approaches Ping. He asks Ping why his pot is empty. Ping explains
that he did his best to grow the flower but it just would not
grow. The emperor smiles and exclaims that he has found his replacement.
He reveals that all of the seeds he had given to the children
were cooked and therefore could not grow. The test was to find
a child with the integrity needed to rule wisely in China.
This book is not one that you want to read straight through. Stop
at different intervals in the narrative to ask questions like:
1. What did Ping think about the contest to
grow the most beautiful flower at
the beginning of the story?
2. Has Ping tried his best to help the seed to grow? How do you
know?
3. Does Ping ever give up and stop trying? Why or why not?
4. Why doesn't Ping just go out and buy a fully-grown, beautiful
bouquet of flowers?
5. Do you think Ping's father gave him good advice?
6. Why do you think the emperor seems unhappy with all the beautiful
plants?
7. What had the emperor done? Why? Was his "tricky"
challenge dishonest?
8. Do you think Ping was the best choice for emperor? Why?
9. What is integrity?
10. What do we mean when we say Ping showed integrity?
For enrichment and follow-up, try these ideas:
1. Ask students to make posters illustrating moments when Ping
showed
integrity. For extension, have them also draw the ways in which
he showed great responsibility in problem-solving.
2. Challenge students to create a class "integrity"
pledge.
3. Help students to create a bibliography of books that remind
them to act with integrity.
4. Have students author their own storybook about a time they
were (or weren't) honest.
5. Ask students to evaluate the importance of sharing a story
like The Empty
Pot with other children their age. Would they recommend that other
teachers or parents read this story to elementary-aged students?
What about to older students? Why?
6. Ask students to journal the answer to the following prompts:
Would you want a friend to have
integrity? How would you know if a friend had integrity? Could
you be friends with someone who doesn't show integrity?
7. If you've got a community partner who might donate some seeds,
you might want to send students home with a packet to plant at
home and reinforce the lesson.
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Character Counts at Westwood! One pillar at a time, we are laying the foundation
for a lifetime of good character choices. It is our goal to build
'value-able' citizens who will eventually become tomorrow's leaders.
The Six Pillars of Character are integrated into everything we
do.
We hope that the following list will help
you acquaint yourself with the Pillars and what they encompass
so that you can help us by reinforcing them at home.
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Westwood Pledge
I will make good choices today.
I will respect myself, my teachers, and
others.
And give my best effort in all I do.
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| Trustworthiness February / August |
| Trustworthy students.
. . . . |
- are honest; don't deceive, cheat, or steal.
- are reliable and do what they say they'll
do.
- have the courage to do the right thing.
- have a good reputation.
- are loyal - stand by their family, friends
and country.
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| Respect September / March |
| Respectful students.
. . . . |
- treat others with respect, follow the Golden
Rule.
- are tolerant of differences.
- use good manners, not bad language.
- are considerate of the feelings of others.
- don't threaten, hit or hurt anyone.
- deal peacefully with anger, insults and disagreements.
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| Responsibility October / April |
| Responsible students.
. . . . |
- do what they're supposed to do.
- persevere and keep on trying!
- always do their best.
- use self-control and are self-disciplined.
- think before they act and consider the consequences.
- are accountable for their choices.
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| Fairness January / July |
| Fair students.
. . . . |
- play by the rules, take turns and share.
- are open minded and listen to others.
- don't take advantage of others.
- don't blame others carelessly.
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| Caring December /J une |
| Caring students.
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- are kind and compassionate and show they
care.
- express gratitude.
- forgive others.
- help people in need.
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| Citizenship November / May |
| Good Citizens.
. . . . |
- do their share to make their school and community
better.
- cooperate.
- stay informed and vote.
- are good neighbors.
- obey laws and rules and respect authority.
- protect the environment.
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