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| Counselor's
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Anger Management
Parents often stop by to ask for help with
their child's anger. Here are 10 ways to help your child(ren)
manage anger when it happens to them.
1. Normalize your child's feelings. Explain
that anger is normal and that it's how we manage it that counts.
2. Help your child identify signs of anger
from the obvious like yelling or screaming to the subtle like
upset tummy or headaches. Other physical cues that I ask my students
to pay attention to are warmth and redness in their faces, sweating,
heart beat speeding up, fists clenching.
3. Show understanding. If you validate their
anger with words like, "I can see that you're angry because
I won't let you play until your homework's done," they may
feel heard and less threatened or scared by their anger.
4. Teach proven "cool-down" methods.
These include counting to 10 (or 20 or 100?), whatever it takes,
and sometimes back down again, taking slow, deep breaths (breathe
in through your nose, exhale out through your mouth), writing
the angry thoughts on paper, then tearing up the paper, or even
screaming into a pillow - in a room or area where it won't disturb
or scare anyone, of course!
5. Have your child write a list of ways to
handle anger better next time. Role playing is very helpful,
once the child has settled down and is no longer in the midst
of the angry feelings.
6. Encourage your child to talk about feelings
in order to find the root of the anger.
7. Keep your child healthy, with enough rest
and a variety of nutritious foods.
8. Limit your child's viewing of violence
in the media, including the nightly news! There are so
many sad and violent stories on the news.
9. Help your child handle stress. Some stress
reducers are soothing music, exercising, playing with a pet,
or simply going outside for some fresh air.
10. Remind your child to always respect the
rights and feelings of others. I am a trained mediator who will
gladly sit down with children who are angry and try to help them
resolve their conflicts whether it's with a friend here at school,
with a sibling in the home, or even with a parent or guardian.
These strategies work with adults, too. Always
remember to be good role models and never use any kind of physical
force on your child(ren) out of anger.
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| Check
Out This Book! |
| Horray for newcomer,
Mookey the Monkey Gets Over Being Teased, by Heather Lonczak!
Published by Magination
Press, this little treasure tackles teasing, a serious childhood
issue, with sensitivity and grace. Mookey is born without a single
hair on his body. His family thinks his smooth skin is adorable
and he, in turn, takes pride in his hairless look. |
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When the day comes that Mookey goes off to
school, however, things don't "work out so well." As
you might imagine, Mookey gets teased because of his differences.
He tries and tries to change his outward looks to fit in, but
to no avail.
When the wise Owl suggests Mookey gather ideas
from his friends about how to handle it when someone teases him,
things start to work out better. In the end, it's these tools
which help him get over being teased and get on with his learning
and living. A Note to Parents and Teachers by Jane Annunziata,
Psy.D. at the book's close outlines coping strategies for children
and guides adults through empowering children with skills to combat
the negative effects of teasing. Do your little monkeys a favor
and check out this book!
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| The
Baby's Not Dying by Michael Josephson |
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One of my favorite stories is about a man
who was rushing home with a $1,000 bonus check he'd unexpectedly
received from work. Before he got to his car, a desperate-looking
woman holding a baby asked him for a few dollars. She said her
child had leukemia and was dying. He reached into his pocket
for some loose bills and accidentally pulled out his bonus check.
He looked at the check and then at the baby.
Acting spontaneously, he endorsed it to her on the spot. "Use
this to do what you can for your baby."
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When he told his family at home what he'd
done, his 16-year-old son said, "I can't believe you gave
her our money! You don't even know her. She was probably conning
you." His wife shook her head, scolding him for being so
naïve.
The man looked hurt, but said, "I just
thought she needed it more than we did."
A week later, his son showed him a local newspaper
article about a woman with a baby who had been arrested for scamming
people in the area. "This is the lady you gave the money
to, isn't it?" his son asked.
"Yes," the father replied, suddenly
beaming with joy.
"What are you smiling about?" the
boy demanded. "We were cheated! She made a fool out of you."
"Don't you see?" his dad said. "This
is wonderful news. It means the baby's not dying."
Only then did his wife get it. Overwhelmed
with love for the generous man she married, she hugged her husband
and turned to their son. "Your dad will earn other bonuses.
Be thankful we have each other, our health, and a truly good
man we can all be proud of."
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that
character counts.
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| Online
Resources |
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Character education resources abound online.
Don't know where to begin? These
links are made available as a starting point for your search
for online resources to enrich and enhance your character education
program.
Note: The links on this site are a courtesy
of the Friendswood Independent School District. FISD does not
necessarily support nor endorse any viewpoints presented on these
links.
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| View the WW Counselor Newsletter |
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| About
the Counselor |
| Barbara Gruener,
counselor and character coach at Westwood Elementary, is in her
23rd year as an educator. Born in Green Bay, Wisconsin, where
she grew up working on a large family dairy farm, Barbara graduated
from the University of Wisconsin in Madison in 1984 with a Bachelor
of Science degree in English and Spanish. She began a Spanish
Department in a small high school in central Wisconsin before
heading to Texas in 1985. She taught Spanish and ESL classes
at North Shore Middle School for a year before moving to FISD
to teach Spanish and coach volleyball and softball at Friendswood
High School. |
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Mrs. Gruener earned a Master of Science degree
from the University of Houston Clear Lake in Education in 1989,
followed by a Master of Science degree in Counseling in 1994.
After 16 years of teaching and counseling
at the secondary level, Barbara decided to try elementary school
and has found her niche as the counselor at Westwood.
Barbara is a published author whose work has
appeared in magazines such as Teaching Tolerance, Teaching K-8,
and Daughters. In the Fall of 2000, Barbara became a certified
trainer for Character Counts! and she enjoys presenting her high-energy
workshop - Sing, Dance, Laugh, and Build Character - to share
her ideas with other educators nationwide whenever the opportunity
presents itself. In her spare time, Barbara likes
to knit, bake, read, write, take long walks, visit with friends,
and hang out with her family. She lives in Friendswood
with her husband, John, and their three children.
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| What
Does a Guidance Counselor Do? |
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The following information provides a brief
description of the many counseling services available at Westwood
Elementary.
Curriculum -
CHARACTER COUNTS! at Westwood. Classroom guidance lessons teach
and model the Six Pillars of Character - Trustworthiness, Respect,
Responsibility, Fairness, Caring, and Citizenship. These sessions
with Mrs. Gruener are interactive in nature and designed to emphasize
the character traits of the FISD Board-adopted Character Education
Program. Incentive programs like CIA (Character In Action) cards
catch students applying what they have learned and honor them
for their exceptional choices and model character. The counselor
also schedules special assemblies throughout the year to reinforce
the material in these lessons.
Coordination
- The counselor coordinates activities for special events like
the National Red Ribbon Campaign and Character Counts! Week.
She also works with the PAL (Peer Assistance and Leadership)
program to pair high-school-aged role models with students who
might benefit from that extra connection and coordinates service
projects like our annual Holiday Food Drive.
Parent Education
- Parent-education materials are located in the Parent Resource
Center to the back of the Pride Cafe. Parents are encouraged
to check out the available resources and continue developing
and refining their parenting skills. As an additional resource,
our montly newsletter, Firm, Fair and Consistent, is available
online. Parents can also make appointments with Mrs. Gruener
to discuss individual concerns as needed. A list of area
counselors and therapists is also available upon request.
Behavioral Intervention/Discipline Systems - Individualized behavior management plans will be
developed for children who exhibit chronic behavior problems.
The behavior management plan will be the result of the collaborative
effort of the administrative staff, the teacher, the counselor,
and the parent. Behavioral and Developmental screenings are also
available through our counselor upon request.
Counseling -
Our counselor works with students individually and in small-group
sessions to assist them as they learn life-long skills like working
cooperatively, making friends, processing feelings, resolving
conflicts, and solving problems. Referrals to see the counselor
can be initiated by a staff member, a parent, an administrator,
or the student. Small-group counseling classes are offered in
six-week sessions each semester. These groups are offered at
each grade level and can include but are not limited to:
1. Family Matters Group - This group is offered
to students who are experiencing life changes such as a move,
separation, divorce, or step-family issues. Students learn about
family systems and the feelings associated with these changes.
Developing appropriate coping strategies will be emphasized.
2. Study Skills for Success Group - This group
is offered to students who have dropping or failing grades as
a result of low motivation or poor study skills. While study
skills in general will be the focus, time management and test-taking
skills and strategies will also be covered.
3. Beyond Anger Group - This group will be
offered to students who exhibit difficulty managing anger and
monitoring their own behavior. An emphasis will be placed
on the development of impulse control and anger-management techniques
that promote a cooperative interaction style with authority figures
and peers.
4. Back In Control Group - This group is for
those students who exhibit impulsivity in their behavior to the
extent that it negatively affects their relationships with peers
and their ability to perform in the classroom. Taking control
and making appropriate choices will be the focus. In addition,
problem-solving techniques will be addressed.
5. Let?s Be Friends Group - This group is
for those students who exhibit behaviors which interfere with
making friends and working cooperatively in the classroom setting.
We will work on defining friendship, examining what we value
in a friend, and developing the interpersonal skills it takes
to seek out a friendship and make it work.
6. Lost and Found Group - This group targets
students who have experienced a recent loss through separation,
death or some other traumatic event. Our focus will be on moving
through the grief process and learning to find ourselves, redefining
who we are despite the lost piece of our life?s puzzle.
If you ever have a question or concern about
your child's progress in school, want to normalize a behavior
that you are seeing, or just want to talk about your child's
development, please don't hesitate to contact Mrs. Gruener. Welcome
to Westwood!
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